How not to wash a dog

"Mom, how can I earn some money?" my son Spencer, then 13, asked one Saturday morning. When you're a parent and your child comes to you with that question, you immediately think "chores." At least I do. It was a cold and rainy day in early spring. Even though we live on three acres, there's not many projects to do outside at that time of the year, especially in the typical Pacific Northwest weather. That left indoor jobs. Cleaning up around the house was a possibility but, though I love my son, vacuuming and dusting were not his forte. I was just about to suggest that he ask his father, when our dog Zelda strolled into the kitchen.

Fate had supplied the answer. "How about giving Zelda a bath?" I suggested. "Don't you think it's too cold outside to wash her?" he replied. As it just so happened, I had recently read about a clever way to wash your dog inside in your bathtub. "You can bath her in the upstairs tub," I said. Seeing the potential problems of convincing a reluctant 70 lb. dog to bathe, he asked "How do I get her in the tub and keep her there?" "Peanut butter," I replied smugly.

The article, that I read, claimed that the solution to a stress-free, in-home dog washing experience was peanut butter. Apparently, all you had to do was smear peanut butter onto the tub walls. You then lead the dog into the bathroom, where upon the dog is met with the tantalizing smell of the delectable spread. The dog then jumps into the tub on her own accord and happily spends the entire bathing time licking the peanut butter off the tub walls. The actually bathing part will be easy. You'll end up with a clean pup as well as clean tub walls. The article also mentioned you may want to wipe the tub walls down with a damp sponge but, depending on how fastidious your dog is, this may not be necessary.

I explained this all to Spencer, who listened politely with his mouth slightly agape. But money was money and he was game to give it a try.

Using spatulas, I helped Spencer smear peanut butter on the two tile walls just above the tub and on the upper part of the tub. We then gathered up a stack of old towels and the pet shampoo. We filled the tub with six inches of warm water and I told Spencer, "Okay, go get the dog." He soon returned with a wary Zelda. I helped him get her into the tub and then left him to his work closing the door behind me.  After all, I WAS paying HIM to wash the dog.

Down in the kitchen, I heard muffled sounds coming from the bathroom above, with the occasional command "Zelda, hold still!" After about ten minutes, the door banged open and out shot a very wet dog who ran down into the dining room and shook for all she was worth. She repeated the process in the living room before finishing by rolling vigorously on the wool area rug.

I went upstairs to the bathroom and was greeted by a very wet and disgruntled Spencer. The room itself was a spectacular mess. Most of the peanut butter remained where it was spread only now it was covered in dog hair. In fact, the whole room: floor, walls, mirrors and cabinets was wet and covered in dog hair.

It took us both about an hour to make the bathroom presentable again. Spencer, bless his heart, had the good graces not to berate his mother on the absolutely batty idea of using peanut butter as a dog washing aid. Initially, we had negotiated a $5 fee but I paid him $10. He had earned it.

Wyoming Horse Pasture

14x11 inches, oil on linen canvas, 2018

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Wyoming Horse Pasture - auction ends on Sunday, May 13th at 9:00am PST. 

This painting is based on an image a Facebook friend posted of the horse pasture at their ranch in Wyoming. She mentioned that it was a good place to grow up and by the looks of it I wouldn’t doubt it for a moment.